I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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