I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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