So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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