Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
