It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
