Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
