all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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