we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
