Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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