just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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