I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
