Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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