It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
