The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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