This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize