He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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