I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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