Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
