that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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