I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think my fart just growled at me.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize