Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
