Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
