Im at strip club and am horny
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
