On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's never too late to be topless.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
