hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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