drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
