I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
