Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
