The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
