you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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