I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
