I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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