He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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