Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
