Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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