I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
