Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
