i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
