He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize