And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
