I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sext me about skeletons