Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking

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(904): View more from Florida

how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard

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(858): View more from California

i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth

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(334): View more from Alabama

She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life

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(313): View more from Michigan

sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework

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(703): View more from Virginia

If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.

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(562): View more from California

I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.

(831): View more from California

Thank you.

(562): View more from California

theres a video...

(831): View more from California

oh god.

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