Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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