As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.