There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize