He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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