Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize