I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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