i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
