DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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