i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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