i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
