Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I deserve this hangover.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
