I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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