Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
