now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize