I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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