dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
