why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Less talking, more tequila
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize