i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
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He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
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I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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