He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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