you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
