seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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