i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
