i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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