YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
