I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize